Who is the critic that you dread the most? Is that you? Is it the comparison? Does that critic have a name? Delve on these questions in a while before you tread on.
Accepting Criticism Positively
Last night, I went to bed and the last message that I read in one of my groups is that somebody is basically quitting. My immediate reaction was to respond to that person but I held back. I thought: I need to go to bed, keep my peace and my calm. I cannot let this take my peace out. Then the morning right after, I got a message from one of my coaches and the same thing happened. I badly wanted to converse with this person, make them see my idea on how things click, but for some reason, I cannot do that. But amidst these stressing circumstances, I went to bed with a social calmness and peace. I slept with the mindset that I didn’t do anything and I let it go. Accepting the situation as it is and letting these toxic thoughts go gave me peace. But there is a system behind, in anything that I do. If something worked for you once, think about why it works.
How do I feel this calmness? I attribute it mainly because of these three things:
Number 1 – Think and Mean it: I am, honestly, doing the best I can.
Accept that there are a lot of people that can do more and do better. But you should likewise recognize that the you right now, is giving it’s all,doing the best that you can. You should settle and be happy with that. That line of thought gives a lot of calmness, especially in times when you doubt yourself because of criticisms thrown your way.
Number 2 – Think and Mean it: People’s reaction has nothing to do with me.
When people go crazy, many times, it has to do with them. It has nothing to do with you. Assess yourself, if you already did the best you can, you honestly know that you did everything in your power. You need to understand that it has to do with that other person’s journey, where they are right now and it’s about high time you have to let that person take the situation however they want to take it and see what happens from there.
Number 3 – Ask yourself: What is your mission? Honor and Value that.
My mission in everything I do is to guide people to be their best, to find the best tools that can help them get their own answers. When you ask yourself this question, whatever the answer is, you are going to honor whatever you are doing. My mission is to help you and to and to guide you to find your solutions. In the process of finding that, you have to be pleased and contented with those decisions because you will have to live with that. My mission and my work is not to open your head, jump in some ideas, check it and make you believe what I believe. That is not why I am here for. I want to help you in a good way and to help find the solutions to the problems that you are really unable to live with.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt – The Man in the Arena
In applying that to my means of living, I make it a point to explicitly explain to my clients and my prospects the difference between an online service and a live service. Not only in terms of money, but in terms of expectations. I run an online business for one and a live consultancy business in another, which are very different from each other. You are not going to value your time in the same way. Your clients have to understand that your time is very valuable, in as much as you value theirs. They also need to grasp fully the expectations of each of your programs and products.
The only critic that catches my attention and worthy of my time are those critics who have the same job as I do. For example, that could be another online entrepreneur in the same field as I do, another “mompreneur” just like me. Putting it bluntly, I filter the criticisms out, I don’t take it ALL in. I have this mindset that; If you are way ahead of where I am now, I am going to listen to you.
As to my clients, I am running a business, so they are not here to be my friends. In running my business, I put a lot of free information and free content, from goal settings, working out, recipes, youtube lists, whatever helpful medium I can think of. All of that, they can get for free, because I want my clients to know me. Also, I am well aware that there are people that cannot afford anything. I am doing a lot for them, I am giving my time. I put all those information out there, because if I change one person’s life, I am happy. Also, I pay for my mentors but that is not the norm of business and you have to be fine with that. My point is: If you are in business and people don’t like you, that’s fine. You need to move on.
I accept as well that there are many critics in my life because I am loud, I am bold and when I decide to do something, I just do it. And to my chagrin, people don’t like that. I have so many critics who tell that I will never make it. My best advice when criticisms abound: Don’t think about people. Think about yourself. Then, I learned to just let it go. However, from hundreds of critics that I have received in my life, not even 1% are from the people that care about me who really deserve my attention. In the end, I will have to learn to channel myself where it’s most beneficial and to move away from criticisms that won’t do me any good.